I said "I Do" in front of Pastor Ron, went on a #ManFreeDiet shortly there after, left my heart in San Fernando Valley, AND treated Mr. Wrong like he was Mr. Right.
Here's my Dating Mantra:
Stand in your power.
Be confident and maintain control.
Be Fierce, Fabulous and FREE until the right guy steps up.
And never settle forsomeone that is NOT ready and willing to DAZZLE and heroically DEVOTE his lifeto you.
And there is only 1way to do that…
If a guy gives you half histime, don’t give him a full time position in your head.
YES! I said it...
When you land a newjob before you pop the pink champagne or open a bottle of Bethany Frankel'sSkinny Girl Drinks you have to slow your roll for 90 days. Your new employer is checking you out,watching your every move and is paying close attention to behavior patterns tosee if you’re the “perfect match”.
Unfortunately, they can hand you a not so hotpink slip and kick you to the curve in 90 days. Most company benefits don'tkick in until after the 90 day period. If you’re slipping and sliding betweenentrepreneurship and working for a traditional company, I’m sure you’re veryfamiliar with the probationary period.
It’s up to you to show you’re an asset and thatyou don’t have a liability bone in your body.
SixInch Side Note: They are checking you out like a new pair ofstilettos. You can feel the stares. Is she a good fit? Is she dependable? Is she init for the long haul?
Work It Girl
So, if a company's willing to wait to get toknow you, why aren't you willing to pump the breaks before you swing the doors open to your "Safe Deposit Box?"
Waitingis a waste~ words once said by a hopeless romantic!
You feel that intense spark ofattraction, the school girl crush has erupted and he isabsolutely intoxicating. Put down the glass, confidence is the only way toextinguish the fire! You slowly start to lose your mind and your imagination isfilled with vivid images of LOVE & long term lust. A lack of confidence can cause you to override logic and ignoreyour instincts. I’ve been there, done that and I put the key to my safe away.
It’s an astronomically sensitive topic for meand I feel more than qualified to tell you why. You see I sashayed downed the aisle in 101 days. You will haveto read SellingINStilettos to see how that fairytale ended. I’ve also beenswept off my feet like Pretty Woman only to find myself at home, in divorcecourt, on a park bench in tears beating myself up. What the hell was I thinking? I’m smarter than that!
Time to take my own advice...
The best piece of advice that I can give you (and me too). Createspace in the beginning and allowthe connection that you share to evolve.
When he wants to see you all the time ~ DON’T.
When he wants to call & text all the timein the beginning ~ DON’T.
When he starts professing how he feels fast andfurious ~ DON’T.
Men can shift the relationship in gear and areknown to turn and hit reverse within minutes. Another reason to not rush and hit the pause button, your feelings might dissipate. If you get caught up in the moment, you'll live to regret running your month.
The 90 Day Rule: I know you've heard this before and I'm not sharing something new, just giving you another perspective.
So, before you stop dating other guys, take your profile down online, beforeyou invite him over to your Fantasy Suite (I know, I watch The Bachelor waytoo much!), before you kiss & tell everyone that he's the one or startlooking at how you can get a Vera Wang or Monique Lhuillier Wedding Gown at 50% off - give it 101days.
Mr.Right Might Be Mr. Wrong After His Probation
The first 30 days you meet his representative,aka “the perfect version.” His flaws are tucked away like auto parts. You mightfind it easy to hide your idiosyncrasies too.
After 60 days, you begin to see his other sideand he’s more prone to tell you if he wants a few nights with you or is considering life with you. You might even slipup here too. It's better that he sees the real you instead of falling for a version you'll never be able to live up to.
Day90-101 is where you’re both put to the test.
They all start to collide.
Idon’t know if I can handle that. That’s such a turn off. You call yourgirlfriend; you won’t believe what he did. You go to his house and you discover…ouch!
You were attracted physically from the startbut the emotional creature within is yearning for a core connection. Modern morals with an eclectic mix of values and a respectable character ignite my senses. What about you?
Facts fill me with clarity.The only relationships built on fiction that lasts forever are in fairy-tales.Oh, Cinderella look what you did to women!
If you’re both ready to commit at this point Ithink you increase your chances for a happy ending.
It might be time to say Good-Bye.
Give him his walking papers.
Start accepting resumes from more qualified candidates.
Next time around....
You won't be inclined to force a fantasy and fixate on reality. You will maintain your power, youwill be more confident, you will be emotionally stable and more importantly you won’twaste your time!
I would know…
Love & Beauty,